Castro Quits Cuba!

Fidel Castro stunned the world by quitting the presidency of Cuba after learning that 49 years of service to the communist regime still did not entitle him to a retirement gold watch, "I know we are a poor communist island country but this is rediculous!" exclaimed Castro.

A government spokesman at the Office of Retired Workers said that after 10 years of unsuccessful bidding on Ebay for a gold watch, the Office had no choice but to break the news to El Presidente who promptly told them to take their watch and shove it.

Castro's immediate plans are still up in the air but sources have indicated that he is contemplating a trip to Miami to apologize to all the Cuban exhiles and then a vacation at Disney World.